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Posts tagged ‘Fear’

Even I’m Scared of Vaccines

Look at her.

I mean, seriously. Look how perfect and precious and adorable she is. I was lucky, so lucky, to fall crazy in love with my baby. From the minute she was born I was awash in the euphoria, joy and intensely biological need to love and protect her forever. I was blessed.

So imagine eight short, sleepless weeks later when I went in for her well-child exam and had to make the decision to vaccinate. What? Let you inflict pain and possible suffering on this perfect baby? What? Not just once, but four times? Yes, protecting her against eight vaccine preventable diseases, umm I guess I get that.

But four individual shots? ARE YOU INSANE? My husband, already very pale thanks to his Swedish heritage, went so white he was translucent and had to leave the room.

This was going to be hard. It goes against all biological instinct and maternal intuitiveness to willingly allow your child to be hurt or to suffer, if even for a moment.

For several minutes my only panicked thoughts were:  BACK OFF LADY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HURT MY BABY – I’M OUTTA HERE!

I took a deep breath, I swallowed hard, I unsuccessfully choked back tears and I listened.

I listened to my choices. I listened to the risks associated with disease and how vaccines can prevent them. I listened to why, as a newborn, my baby was at her most vulnerable for these diseases. Waiting would only put her at greater risk.

I had the opportunity to fend off and protect her from something much worse than a needle prick. I had a choice to protect her. As hard as it was at that first visit, (and honestly it never gets easier) I always choose to vaccinate my babies. I choose the temporary pain of a prick over a lifetime of risk and potential disease.

So, how did you feel at your baby’s first doctor’s appointment? Were you surprised at your gut reaction? I’d love to hear your stories!